So let’s pretend you are a hiring manager at a firm, and you are interviewing just 2 candidates available for a new vacancy in your organization. Candidate A is bold, has a firm grip, looks you directly in the eyes, and speaks with so much certainty.
Candidate B is unsure, he can’t look you in the eyes, he’s staring at an invisible object on the ground. His hands are shaking, when he gets up, his feet are a bit wobbly and when he starts to speak, his voice is faint and uncertain.
Both candidates make the same points during the interview session, have a great understanding of their roles, and are fit for the job.
Who would you hire?
Confidence will take you places your skills would not take you. If you must go far in life, you need to build the quality called Confidence.
Asides from the job market, everywhere you find yourself, confidence is a key decision-making factor.
The amazing thing about Confidence is that you do not have to start speaking before your confidence level is displayed. People can tell from your body language if you are a confident person.
Why Is Self-Confidence Important?
- A Confident person is most likely to be put in a leadership position wherever the person is found. This means that you naturally get to influence people and navigate them towards your direction in life.
- Confidence increases your self-worth. When you believe in yourself, your self-esteem level automatically lifts. You know what they say about a person who knows his worth.
- Confidence is a high attraction quotient. People are naturally drawn to confident people. Therefore, as a confident person, you will find yourself being exposed to more opportunities and building a reasonable social class.
- Confidence increases positivity. A confident person is likely to focus more on the positive aspects of life, and ignore the negative aspects. This way, confidence helps to alleviate depression and anxiety.
- Confidence helps you to perform your best even under duress.
How To Build Confidence
The first thing you need to know is that nobody is born confident. Yes, some people are on the bolder side of the temperaments, but everyone at some point has some level of doubt present. The confident people are the ones that can suppress the doubt and display certainty at all points.
With good practice and the right guide, everybody would be able to build their confidence level. Here are some steps that can help you in this Confidence building process;
- Face Your Fears:
One of the main reasons why people are unable to display confidence is fear. What if something goes wrong? What if I mess up? What if it doesn’t work out the way I planned it to?
These are some of the questions that frequently go through the minds of people that are afraid.
The fastest way to get past your fear is to go through it. Answer your ‘what ifs’ by yourself. What’s the worst that could happen anyway? Nobody ever died from embarrassment.
It is only natural to feel fear. Your decision to give in or not is what determines your personality. Never allow your fears to stop you. The next time you feel scared, do it. The faster you feel, the faster you learn to get better. Failure builds momentum and when compounded, builds confidence.
- Grow Your Competence Level:
A person who is sure of his competence is more likely to show confidence. If you are capable of handling a particular situation because you have honed your skills and you have enough experience, then fear would be a secondary reaction. Work on your competence level. Build your skills. Take more courses and be open to learning. The moment you attain a certain level of expertise in your field, your confidence level automatically increases.
- Believe In Yourself
If you do not believe in yourself, there is no way you can get people to believe in you. Stop being unfaithful to yourself. Make promises and keep them. Be an honest person. When you start taking little but intentional steps to become a better person, everything in you starts working together to make you a better person.
You must learn to stop looking down on yourself. If you groom negative thoughts, they will grow and suffocate your confidence. Ensure that you are always thinking and speaking positively about yourself. Remember that if you say it for too long, it becomes your reality.
- Avoid Any Form Of Comparison
If it is not healthy competition, then you have no business with it. Comparing yourself with others would take a toll on you. You only see what people show you. The fact that someone looks very successful, does not mean the person is not battling failures in the background. Comparing your weaknesses to someone’s strengths is a big mistake that has no positive effect.
- Expand Your Intellectual Horizon
Set goals for yourself and meet up with them. When you’re able to meet your goals, your trust in yourself increases. When it becomes a part of you, you can now confidently set goals for others or lead people to complete a goal.
Train yourself to be a leader. Start leading a community no matter how small. Gain knowledge and expand your capacity.
- Care Less About What People Think
If you keep listening to people and letting them meddle with your actions, you are going to get yourself into trouble. You cannot please everybody so you need to realize this and consider yourself first in whatever decision you make. Listen to people, be open to constructive criticism. Be willing to learn. However, this does not mean that you should condition your life to follow people’s ideas.
When you learn to pay more attention to what you think, your confidence level increases.
- Track Your Progress:
Sometimes, motivation is low. Even as a leader, there are times when you suffer from low self-esteem. A great way to stay confident in times like this is to track your progress level. If you have a record of your past achievements, going through it will boost your mood and rejuvenate your confidence level.
Here are some confidence practices you can begin now;
- Be conscious about your body language
- Adjust your posture: Stop slouching, stand tall. keep your body positioned directly in front of the person you are conversing with.
- Stop fidgeting: Practice how to stay calm even in uncertain situations.
- Make direct eye contact with people when discussing with them.
- Adjust your facial expression and voice: Don’t look alarmed or confused. Put your face in a relaxed state when you speak. Smile. Also, a shaky, hushed voice does not exactly spell confidence.
- Speak slowly and surely. Don’t speak too fast, it gives an impression of rushing to say what you want to say to get it over with.
Finally, the best way to become a confident person is to practice. You can learn all you need to know about building your confidence level, and without practice, end up still cowering in fear.
Start by speaking in public. Learn to share your opinions. The next time you get a leadership offer, don’t shy away from it, take the offer. Even if it’s just a small group of people, lead them. This will gradually build your leadership skills and your confidence level.
With consistent practice, you would notice a huge difference in your confidence level.